"The only newspaper fit to mud"

The Infi-News is Infinity's newspaper, written by Mutara for the players. Each issue contains stories about the Infinity community, and serves as a less formal way of informing the users about major changes in their environment. The Infi-News has been dormant for the past few months, but this is expected to change. Keep watching this space for new issues.

Dateline: May 9, 2003
Guest Contributor: Greylin

Back Online

After months of using actual IP addresses, Infinity has once again found a home. We're still being hosted by the big Frog upstairs, but once again you can use infinitymud.net 4242 to connect.

Wizards Storm Player Areas

A recent interesting development has occured in the wizard ranks. The Administration has decided to allow wizards to have secondary player characters. This has been debated on by many over the years, and wanted by most. It will be most interesting to see what develops form this. For more information, see your local Adventurer's Guild board. Cheers to the Arches!

A Hero Retires

Due to the change in the above policy, one Hero has decided to join the ranks of Wizards and start a new player character. When asked for comments, Randy responded that with his new player (a female), he is enjoying his female and slutty alter ego (her name is Pervert) luring big and powerful male players to help him by using his female charms. Pervert was last seen running from a mountain goat after *cough* using her charms on him.

Randy also informs us that camel's milk doesn't curdle. He also says that how to milk a camel depends on its gender, but declined to comment further when asked for more specific information.

Rumour Mill

Rumour has it the Lugroki are returning from the Mists and are bigger and badder than ever! Watch for them to take over Infinity soon!

If you've ever been to the land of Archeron, beware! It is now not only the home of the big and nasty Beholder, but now it hosts Balor Gezzuntik and Aeyrie the Uber Faierie Dragon. Rumour has it, there's even worse to come!

(Editor's disclaimer: High Levels only. Deaths resulting from visiting this area are not the Paper's responsibility.)

Q & A

Will more Heroes decide to wiz? Will those pesky over-populated level 19s wiz now? Will we see more wizards start up player characters? Will we see any new areas result? Buy a paper and find out next time!

Classified

WANTED: Suggestions, suggestions, suggestions. Visit the suggestion box in the archive room and drop the arches your suggestions to improve the game.

WANTED: Are you a writer in waiting? Know something you'd like to share with the rest of us? Write your story, and mail it to the Arches. They'll add it in the next edition of the Infi-News.

Dateline: December 24, 1998

Happy Holidays

The archwizards of Infinity would like to wish all our mortals and wizards, vistors and guests, happy and safe holidays, no matter what they might celebrate.

Holiday Horrors

It was a cold dark day in the month of December, the first day of winter to be exact, when Sage took it into her mind to ruin Christmas for all the good little boys and girls. Her target: Santa Claus and his reindeer, and anyone that might get in her way.

Santa Claus was tougher than he looked. That man in red looked soft with a belly of jelly, but he wasn't. He tossed her about as if she was nothing more than a sack of presents and she knew she needed help. Choices were limited that morning, but she finally found Sensei to assist her in her evil plan.

With him at her side, her first target laid bleeding on the floor. Father Christmas was slaughtered and his blood was sprayed across Sensei's naked body. Yes, Sensei was naked, a barbarian as cold as ice.

'She was weak, I think she was dumbstruck by the naked guy with the sword behind me...' quoted Sage about the death of Christine Claus. Santa's beloved wife, was next on her hit list. They left her corpse burning next to her cookies and her blood pooling with spilt hot chocolate. Civie the elf was also dead, and her body robbed for mittens to warm Sensei's hands.

Hard at work in the stables, was Deeble the elf. He didn't know what hit him, before he too was laying dead on the floor. Pretta and Hisel and Blinky and Inky, elves one and all, were also slaughtered without mercy. As was Kera in gift wrapping, her mangled body left as an after thought.

Prancer, Dancer, Donner, Dasher, Comet, Cupid, Blitzen, Vixen and the most famous reindeer of all, Rudolph were quickly killed off one after the other. 'They are like potato chips, you just couldn't kill one.', quoted Sage about their deaths.

This reporter caught up with the pair as they were warming themselves beside the burning remains of Santa's workshop. Next to them was Santa's stolen sleigh, filled with loot: presents stolen from the workshop. 'Why', this reporter asked and their reasons were simple, if disgusting. Sage - 'Because they were there.' and Sensei - '1. Sage is such a babe, 2. They were there, 3. I have heard too much Christmas music already.'

Ironically, this reporter caught Sage giving the sacked gifts to the town's priest to give to the underprivelaged families around Infinity and later caught her gifting the drunks in the town's pub with candy canes.

Rumour Mill

The Golden Horde and the White Swords of the Rising Sun will be arriving sometime next year. What these might be have been left to the mortals' speculation.

Classified

WANTED: Suggestions, suggestions, suggestions. Visit the suggestion box in the archive room and drop the arches your suggestions to improve the game.

ADVICE: Have a question about something? Need some advice? Look no further. Just drop some mail to Sage and she will answer any sensible questions in the next paper. She will be picking the most interesting questions to answer.

Dateline: November 09, 1998

Halloween Reports

Reports flooded the department of the arches this past Halloween from across Infinity.

The corpse of one mortal, Wolfgang, was found dead on Halloween. Causes of death are uncertain, but signs point to a dark snake slithering around in Vlad's realm.

Infinity police are investigating the egging of Mutara's workroom sometime on Halloween night. The unknown assailants are reported to be a gang of Infinity's archwizards and wizards. Of course, Mutara the Thunder Lord was out drinking Sam Adams at the time and is of no help in the investigation.

Hundreds of calls about an unidentified flying object flooded the department's hot line. The callers reported seeing a strange object moving across the face of the moon. The arches report that this was only Tanzi, the ex-archwitch, taking a flight on her broom and not horrid aliens from another dimension in search of brains to suck as many of the callers believed.

Police are investigating numerous children missing at various locations across Infinity. They have gone missing in the vicinity of the Crystal Citadel and the Gingerbread house while they were trick or treating. An inside informer has snitched to this paper that the lady of the citadel and the ugly old lady of the Gingerbread house will both be taken into custody and charged with 'a salt and buttering' of the children and then of course eating them.

Politics as Usual

Politics have infected Infinity, as in stunning news today, Grandma Hagatha announced she is officially running for the title, 'Best/Favourite NPC on Infinity'. In a sharply worded statement, Grandma Hagatha stated, "The Adventurer is nowhere to be found. How can he uphold the high standards of this title when he's hiding someplace? Yes, he's a sweet boy, and yes, he's family. He's the great grandson of the woman whose cousin married the son of the man who use to clean my toilet back in '33. But anyways, family he might be, but we need someone new for this job! Someone that is around, someone that is more than beating up people! I think I'm best qualified to fill this position!"

She urges all eligible voters, namely everyone, to visit the voting room above the main guildhall and cast their votes for her. The previous title holder, The Adventurer, hasn't been seen in years and was unavailable for comment.

Memories

This week's blast into the past is brought to you by Morpheus...

I seem to recall one oh-so-slightly blustery day, back in the young ol' Knights of Chaos days. It seems that a new shop was to be opened, and verily did the players' excitement reach new thresholds. In fact, the shop was to be opened the very day I was on.

CUT: To my merry self, roaming around all of Infinity with berzerk.
CUT: To Mutara, shouting/echoing/whatever: The new Adventurer Shop is open. Come take a peek at the shopkeeper.
CUT: Morpheus says, "Wow, Cool!" and runs into the Adventurer shop.
CUT: A moment of stunned silence as all of Infinity realizes that Morpheus is berzerk.
CUT: An even longer moment as Mutara's prize creation-of-the-day, Abdul, gets completely hosed by Morpheus upon entering the shop.

Mutara: Hrm. Hi, Morpheus.
Me: Howdy. Where's the shopkeeper?
Someone?: All over the room.
Me (after exa and l'ing): Heh. Oops.
Me: 'get all from corpse'
Me: "Damn. He doesn't have coinage."
M: Mutara forces you east.
M: "Stay there."

A roaring sheet of flame appears, blocking your way west.

...and so forth. Suffice to say, Abdul had possibly the shortest lifespan of any creature killed by a player. Until M fixed him, of course. I am still tempted to try killing Abdul just to see if M designed something particularly nasty for me...

Rumour Mill

... a new monster will be appearing in the future in Xeno's area, a Githyanki. Whatever that might be, you can be sure it will be as dangerous as his dragons and monk.

... the end is near for Qualstar, who is still coding up a storm for the new geography outside of the main town. He's been doing this for years now, no wonder he's insane, but he is only months away from completion.

... seems that one of the arches is working for the Sorcerer and is plotting against Infinity. What this brings in the future is anyone's guess.

Classified

WANTED: Suggestions, suggestions, suggestions. Visit the suggestion box in the archive room and drop the arches your suggestions to improve the game.

WANTED: Infi-News is seeking articles of all sorts. Please send them to Qualstar and Mutara.

WANTED: People to fill belly. Only those of high level need apply in person to the lower levels of the Fairy Caverns. See Sylath for more information about this position.

ADVICE: Have a question about something? Need some advice? Look no further. Just drop some mail to Sage and she will answer any sensible questions in the next paper. She will be picking the most interesting questions to answer.

Dateline: September 09, 1998

Infinity Reaches Its 6th Birthday

That's right. Six years ago today, Infinity officially opened its doors to players, the start of many quests, guilds, player deaths, parties, and shouts. To celebrate, we're instituting an all-day powerheal. Go forth and kill many beasts to cheer on Infinity. Here's to another six years!

Amon Steps Down

After many years of service, Amon has decided to step down as an ArchWizard. We would like to thank him very much for the considerable amount of time, code, and patience that he has invested in Infinity.

Two New ArchWizards Hired

Arsenal and Bigtoad joined our ranks in August, bringing the number of active administration to eight. Aside from helping us with the day-to-day running of the game, they'll be playing pivotal parts in re-engineering much of the game, effectively bringing the game into the next generation of Infinitydom. Keep your eyes peeled for new notes detailing some of the changes!

Dateline: May 28, 1997

Snowlock Snowed Under by the Legion of the Eternal Blade

Snowlock did a bad thing this week. He finally got his guild approved after months (years? Nah. Let's say "months". Makes the arches look better) of coding, discussion of his powers, and approval of his code. The Legion of the Eternal Blade officially opened Tuesday, May 27, and is now ready for players. New guilds on Infinity are rare, so we hold this to be quite an accomplishment. In the meantime, Snowlock is learning what it's like to be an Infinity guildmaster. Donations of Motrin, Tylenol, Advil, and beer are being accepted.

Roughguy Makes it Rough for IntermediateLevel Questers

It's been a great week for approvals. After literal years of being in the system, Roughguy has gotten his intermediate level quest approved. This quest takes place in the town of Trommel; a man has been murdered, and it's your job to find the murderer and bring him to justice. Now that Roughguy has gotten his level quest completed, we can start hammering on him for an Iron Maiden-themed wizquest. What do you say, RG? :)

Do You Really Hate a Player? Do You Really Want Him/Her Dead? Give Them an Invitation to the New Player Killing Area!

No, Wizards. You guys don't count. This is for players. Juniper has written up a player killing area that lurks beneath the Arena. Legend has it that there's a Swordsman in the area that can provide a serious challenge for players. Why not band up with a few of your killing buddies and see if you can take him on? Just be sure to watch your back. Muhahaha.

Banner Competition Won

We're happy to say that Chacal has been the winner of our banner competition, with excellent entries from Dred, Pelops, and Zorac. Chacal's banner has been submitted to the Link Exchange (http://www.linkexchange.com) to represent Infinity at the Exchange. We expect the banner to be accepted in the next few days, after which a number of sites will (hopefully) have Infinity's banner flashed on them. We hope this will bring in some new players, and expect to have Chacal's banner listed on our web site soon. Thanks, Chacal!

Dateline: November 5, 1996

Telephatic Routers Overloaded - Free Tells Cause Problems

November 5, 11:35 EST

INFINITY, Nov. 5 (NewsSource) -- The Infinity Telepathy Consortium reported last night that their telepathic routers were overloaded due to massive amounts of mental data being distributed across Infinity's BrainNet. It is assumed that the introduction of free tells in Infinity is the cause.

Previously, the telepathic routers were able to handle the tell traffic with no problems. With tells being limited first by spell points and then by comm points, users would choose to either use guild channels or use "say" to communicate with their targets. However, the ArchWizards of Infinity agreed in late October to remove the comm point requirement.

The resulting storm of telepathic activity seriously overloaded the systems at the Consortium. While most of the damage manifested itself in messages of, "We're sorry, all lines are busy. Please hang up and try your call later.", there were minor problems with misdirected tells. Pandemonium struck when a player conversation about the current market value of wool was accidentally relayed to an unsuspecting and bored ArchWizard. The following discussion about sheep fetishes and Little Bo Peep fantasies was quickly concluded, and no charges have been filed.

"We believe we've compensated for the excess traffic on the BrainNet," reported a Consortium spokesperson. "We should be ready for the next set of problems that arise."

Dateline: January 2, 1996

Happy New Year!

Yes, we released a newspaper during the New Year just so we could say we released a new newspaper. Just kidding. Actually, Amon, Isenbold, and I were enjoying some peace and quiet when Amon kindly suggested that I get off of my Samuel Adams-responsible rear and write a new newspaper. Soooo, here we are. *punt Amon*

New (But Not New) ArchWizard

We're happy to welcome Isenbold back to the fold as an ArchWizard. For some of you newer players, Isenbold was an ArchWizard a while back, but took some time off. Isenbold is old...older than dirt, having been around as a Wizard in September of 1992, back when Infinity first came on-line. Isenbold is also a single and available ArchWizard, so ladies....start your engines.

One Reboot a Day

First it was three reboots a day, then two, then one, then a REAL mess of surprise reboots (Sorry!). We're back on a stable schedule of one reboot a day, rebooting at midnight Eastern Standard Time. The game is now swapping, which means we're all happy campers.

New Geography Unfolding

A combined effort between Isenbold and Qualstar is in the making to create a new geography for the regions outside of the Town. While the final product is still several months away, know that poor Qualstar is writing description upon description upon description. You thought he was totally insane back then...just wait until you see what he's like after a day of describing. *shiver*

Rumour Mill

- Amon's Wizard quest has been completed, and is in the approval process.

- Lorgalis' Lugroki quest will soon be revamped and cleaned up, bringing a bit of Infinity history into the present.

- Juniper is hard at work on a new mail system. If you want to see him cringe, creep up behind him and say "mailreader!" really really loud.

Dateline: December 11, 1995

The New Telna Has Been Unleashed

At approximately 3:00pm on Sunday, December 10, there was a rather loud sound, sort of like: "AARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!" to be heard across Infinity. That's right, Qualstar had installed the new, upgraded, more difficult, Amon-frustrating, Mutara-p'ing-off, Qualstar-laughing with glee as the ArchWizards cursed his name from now until the planes of hell turn into starships of hell, Telna quest. This version of Telna replaces the original version; those of you who have already solved the quest will not need to do it. However, if you haven't...well, enjoy. :)

Moonmist's Area Returns

Just when you thought Qualstar would be kept busy...he also just released Moonmist's area, which was around back when Infinity was in it's infancy. If you're into either happy elves or wild women...this is the place to go.

New Combat System Installed

Old news? It's only old news if you haven't heard it yet. :) Juniper installed a new combat system last week that allows players to wield more than one weapon, and have their stats modified more easily. On top of all this, he also made the monsters on the game a bit more intelligent, so approach your usual opponents with care.

Rumour Mill

- Amon is heard to have been working on yet another quest. Koch save us all.

Dateline: November 6, 1995

Mortal Combat

Juniper is currently immersed (as in, completely submerged, on the verge of drowning, we wonder if he'll return, etc.) in rewriting the combat system from the ground up. The new attack sequences that you will see will be backwards compatible, so you won't have to learn anything new if you'd like to knock heads off of trolls and the like. However, you'll soon have the ability to wield more than one weapon, your stats can be modified on the fly (letting you try some _real_ magic potions and cursed items), and you will find that some of the monsters on the game will be a bit more intelligent than normal. Keep your eye out for board notes about this.

We Really Gotta Book

No, I'm serious. You're all going to soon have your very own book that introduces you to Infinity. This will replace the...uh...sparse documentation that currently exists for players, and will answer a great deal of questions that have been asked of the ArchWizards. We recognize that while a lot of Infinity has barrelled forward and kept up with the times, our documentation is still written on stone tablets in a pretty unreadable language. So....I'm going to be presenting a new set of player documentation in the next month or so that will cover all of what you need to know. What are quests about? What are level quests? Good questing strategies? Why do we have various rules? And why don't we see certain things on Infinity (like storage rooms, equipment that saves over reboots, Budweiser, etc)? All of these and more will be answered for you. If you'd like to make sure that some of your questions get answered as well, feel free to send mail to Mutara about it.

Quests, Oh Glorious Quests

Yes, we have more quests. Mu-ha. The Infinity Wizards have been cranking out some more level quests for you to deal with, including a highly revamped (and might I add, difficult) version of Telna, a cleaned-up version of the Eye of Raheeb quest, and rumor has it that there's a quest in the works that involves averting a meteor that's about to hit Infinity. We'll let you know more as we know it, preferably before that meteor hits.

Dateline: September 23, 1995

New Newspaper

What? Can it be? A NEW newspaper? Yes, after a summer packed with new ideas, quests and changes, I figured it was time to bring the Infi-News out of mothballs, and start up production again. In this issue, I'll cover the major changes in Infinity since everyone took off to go do summer jobs, take summer classes, or for working grunts like myself, do the same old grind. I'll try to keep churning more issues out as time goes on. Without further ado...

Dying Has Changed

It used to be that when you died, you lost one level, a pile of experience points, and you lost one point frmo each stat. Now, you'll lose approximately one third of your experience points (just as before) but your level will be lowered only if this loss puts you below the required amount for your current level. Don't worry...you still get to lose your stats, too. :)

Heroes Are Unleashed

Juniper has released a new class of players, called the Heroes. These players are in between being a player and being a Wizard, and benefit from the ability to raise their stats to 25, have a free chatline, and the ability to use "tell" for free. Heroes will have some new quests to do, and will receive new powers and abilities when they solve them. For more information, check out the Adventurers' Guild board.

Sex Changes Are Now Possible

Sometimes...you just want to try something new. There's a new doctor in Infinity who has set up shop in the southeastern section of Town that will be happy to alter things for you, for a price.

Engagement Rings Can Now Be Purchased

Previously, engagement rings could only be received through Wizards; you can now buy rings from a shop south of the Town Cathedral for 500 coins/pair. In addition, if you decide that you'd rather not stay engaged to your used- to-be-loved one, the lawyer in town will handle the removals of rings if you ask him for a divorce.

The Knights of Chaos Closed

Since Warlock is occupied with other projects, the Knights of Chaos have been shut down. All Knights who log in will slip into non-guilded status with no loss of experience, and will be able to select another guild if they wish.

Syndril Is No Longer A Required Level Quest

With Warlock's absence, Syndril was removed from the level quest list. However, before you dance with joy....

Mardoch Has A New Level Quest

....and it's taking the place of Syndril. Those of you who have already solved a level 10 quest shall have no problems. Those of you who haven't, are in for a treat; Mardoch's new quest is quite detail oriented, and should provide players with a very fun challenge.

Familiars Are Not Allowed in the Pub and the Tavern

In a nutshell, these damn things were responsible for more Spam than the Hormel company. Enough people complained that we locked the bastards out.

Post Office is a Lot Quieter Now

We've set up the Post Office such that feeling commands can no longer be used there, to make it quieter for people who want to read and write mail. You also won't notice players leaving or exiting the Post Office.

Players Can Block Out Shouts

Using the "shoutblock" command, players can block out all shouts except the emergency shouts used by the administration to warn players of game problems. Type "help shoutblock" for more information.

Dateline: February 26, 1995

Welcome Back

We thank you very much for your patience! We realize that this wait has been a bit longer than we anticipated. We originally planned on opening up in the middle of January, but...things didn't work out. However, we're back in business, and would like to welcome you back to the game. Thanks for waiting!

The New Site

As you can see by the address, we're no longer hosted by the College of Computer Science at Northeastern University. Instead, Ramen (one of Infinity's wizards, and coincidentally, someone who drinks good beer) has offered to host us on his own computer, infinity.syr.edu. This computer is located at Syracuse University.

infinity.syr.edu is a 486 DX2-66 with 24 megabytes of physical ram, and around 24 megabytes of swap. This machine is running the latest versions of Linux, a free version of Unix developed for the 386, 486, and Pentium processors.

Drives: The Fund Drive and the New Hard Drive

The fund drive for the new hard drive was a spectacular success. We were able to buy a Seagate gigabyte SCSI drive and an Adaptec 1522A SCSI controller to place in infinity.syr.edu. This gives Infinity a lot of room to expand, and allows us to put up tons of gifs and jpegs on the FTP site. :) The donations that we received almost paid for the entire cost of the drive and controller card. Without the generosity and good wishes of the donors, we wouldn't have been able to bring the game back up. If you donated, give yourself a pat on the back and a Sammy. You earned it. :)

Software Changes

In addition to moving from Boston to Syracuse, we also changed drivers. For those that aren't familiar with how muds work, the driver is the program that controls the game. We write files in the game that let us use this program to create areas, save files, talk to each other, etc. Players won't see much of a difference in the new driver that we're using, but wizards will.

The new driver is the Amylaar driver, which is currently at version 3.1.2@91. The majority of the code on the game that was previously written is compatible with the new driver, with only a few minor changes that have to be made. Wizards will find that they have a bunch of new ideas that they can use to create more complex and involved areas. You, the players, will get to reap the benefits when they install these areas in the game. In addition, this driver is more memory efficient, and should allow for a faster game. It's conceivable that we may also get to have more than 40-odd players on the game at one time, although this remains to be seen. We'll look into it, once the game has been up for a while.

Changes in Wizard Areas

We've been doing our best to get the game ready for you to come back and play. The wizard quests, level quests, and guilds have all been gone through with fine-toothed combs, trying to find any bugs that may have occured as a result of our driver change. We _think_ we've got them all, but we're also only human, and may have missed a few. If you run into a bug, be sure to alert the archwizards as soon as possible. If you know whose code it is, be sure to alert that wizard as well; we'll all try to get the bug fixed as quick as we can.

In addition, you may find that certain areas are no longer open on the game. If it's not specified on the guild board that the area was closed permanently, you may assume that the area isn't quite ready for players to be in it, due to a few changes the wizards must be making. Please respect the wizards and their work schedules. They're most likely trying to fit in the time to fix it, and a hundred hassling emails asking when they'll be done really won't help matters. We'll all do our best to get the game back up as soon as possible.

Other Changes

The best place to look for information on the changes in the game is on the Adventurers' Guild board, as normal. You may notice that players and wizards can no longer write on this board; the administration will need this board to post any changes we've made as a result of the move. If you do have a question you want to post at large, post it on the forum board. We'll answer it there, and if it turns out to be a question that we think is sufficiently long-term and important, we'll repost the note on the guild board.

Again, welcome back to the game. We're glad to be able to be open for you, and hope you'll return from wherever you've been spending your time to help the Infinity experience grow yet again!

Dateline: November 23, 1994

Classified Ads

FOUND: Pile of player dust. Believed to be remnant of a quest cheater, zapped by Mutara in the mid 1990's. Call 1-900-DEST-JRK.
LOST : War hammer, allegedly owned by a Thunder God. Has a handle, heavy end, good for banging Midgardian-sized nails. Responds to the name "Mjolnir". If found, return to:

Thor, (the other) Thunder God
Thor's Place
Asgard, NO 04711-4242

Serious wizquesters only, please.

LOST: Gandar wizquest. Dunno what happened to the damn thing, but it ain't required for wizhood now.
WANTED: More quests. More quests. More quests. Mail Mutara if you have one.

Dateline: October 18, 1994

Received over the Infinity teletype machine: 

----
To:   Infinity Administration
From: Infinity Promoters
Date: October 18, 1994

M- 

Post this!  It'll be a blast, I tell you.

- Morrie

==========================================================

SNUZZLEGRUFFMANIA
-----------------

The lights dim, the smoke pours across the stage...and SNUZZLEGRUFFMANIA
captures the crowd...

The Samuel Adams - Infinity Concert Series presents:

                     SNUZZLEGRUFFS: THE INFINITY INVASION
         Now running through the end of 1994, at the Infinity Stadium 

This is NOT the Infinity Arena, and the management takes no 
responsibility for any accidental deaths caused by this show.
===============================================================
-----

To: Morrie
From: M
Date: October 18, 1994

Morrie -

We'll post it as soon as possible.  Thanks for the submission.

M

-----

To: Mutara
From : Morrie
Dateline: October 18, 1994

M -

Er...we have a slight problem.  The Snuzzlegruffs refuse to appear.  For
some reason, they were all full of energy, bouncing around, ready to go on
tour, and then they got hit by a wave of sadness.  I dunno what the deal is,
man...but they're not going through with it. I'm going to lose millions of
gold coins if they don't.  Can you...er..tweak a few rules here and there?

- Morrie

-----

To: Morrie
From: M
Date: October 18, 1994

Morrie-

Hmmm.  I'll see what I can do.  To be really honest, I don't have the time to
do this, so I'll pass it on to a few select level 2 players.  Heck.  I think
we can even make a quest out of it, or something.  We'll see what happens.

M

Dateline: October 1, 1994

Two ArchWizards Face Banishment

As some of you may know, there is a very important rule here, specifically, NO MULTIPLE CHARACTERS. Unfortunately, many people have found various reasons to create a second character. In some cases, they have more than one, and in extremely odd cases, some Wizards create them. Wizards are allowed a test character, but these test characters must be set up to display "So-and-so's Test Character" in the finger information. Two ArchWizards (who shall go unnamed) have seen fit to toss this rule to the wind, each creating a player, and hiding it from just about everybody.

Blharg and Hilight came in on the scene in September of 1994, amid a great amount of controversy (read: "bitching") about coffee changes. You may have noticed them; both non-guilded, arrogant, aloof, non-social, and fast players. Aside from the fact that they were trying to prove that players can easily engage in combat in Infinity even WITH the new coffee, the ArchWizards have still broken the rules.

It is the judgement of this adminstration that both ArchWizards are to suffer the most heinous punishment possible for this flagrant violation of our rules. Both archwizards are not allowed to drop down to level 21 for a good amount of time, regardless of what pressures they face as arches. Muhahaha.

Zalzon is Loose

We have been informed that there has been a minor magical disaster at the laboratories of Magicka University. Apparently, one of the less-intelligent students has accidentally released a trouble-causing imp named Zalzon from it's confinement. In a few days, an organized search effort will be created. Rumor has it that only level 16 players will be allowed to try to trap the imp. Just as some information to make you shiver in your boots, Qualstar coded it. Yes, that means level 16, 17, and 18 players have a trilogy of Qualstar Quests to solve. Again, Muhahaha.

Norfen to be Removed

To make room for the new Qualstar Quest, the land of Norfen will be closed down for an unspecified amount of time. If you are still partway through the quest, we suggest you complete it by 6pm Eastern Daylight Time on Monday, October 3, 1994. Norfen _may_ be returned to the game to occupy the level 16 quest slot with the Zalzon quest, in which level 16 players will be assigned one or the other to complete.

Dateline: September 4, 1994

The Infi-News is Back On-Line

After a few months of collecting rust, rat feces, and other appetizing substances, the presses of the Infi-News are rolling again. I apologize for the delay in getting things restarted, but there's been a lot of stuff going on; the newspaper was designed by me (Mutara) for me to get some writing squeezed into my administrative routine; that's why it hasn't been handed to anyone else to do. Hopefully, we'll see more frequent issues.

InfiColumbia Reports Terrible Weather: Coffee Crop in Danger

BOGOTA, InfiColumbia - (Reuters) A strange storm has ravished the Colombian countryside in the southwestern area of Infinity, throwing the country, its population, and its crops in disarray. Scientists from the Infinity Institute of Technology, InfTech, and the Royal Infinity Observatory report that the magnitude of the storm could disrupt crop production completely. East Road analysts have predicted that the entire coffee supply for Infinity may have its days numbered. At the very least, coffee prices are expected to shoot up, as demand overtakes the meager supply. In addition, the coffee will be mixed with a substance that will limit how much coffee you can drink in an effort to reduce the amount of coffee consumption per player.

New Command Added for Level Questers

At a player's suggestion, there is now a command that will let you check your level quest hint without running all the way back to the Adventurers' Guild. To do this, type "hint" anywhere in the game.

Strange Box Found in Shop

This morning, it was discovered that someone had left a large box in the shop. The ArchWizards claim responsibility, and it appears that you can place any valueless items (or any other item you wish to be gone) in the box. Pressing the 'vaporize' button will clean out the inside of the box. Mortals, if you find any Wizards in your inventories, feel free to use this box to rectify the situation.

Classified Ads

WANTED: Level 7 player to go visit the Warlock in Hyvel for an important mission. Contact Mailbox INFINITY_LEVEL_QUEST_WIZARD_CODER: AMON for more information.

Dateline: March 11, 1994

Troll Issues Challenge

Our sources reveal that Lord Nu'hante has issued a challenge to the people of Infinity. "They're all wimps," he rasps, "They couldn't fight their way out of a paper bag." It seems like this mighty troll has been sitting up in his mountain hideaway just waiting for potential victims, but noone has shown for over a month. The "Lord Almighty", as he is referred to by his faithful followers, is just waiting for some poor adventurer to stumble on to his lair. A troll who works on the inside for the Infi-News crew reports that there is excellent treasure for those sturdy enough to face the dangers. He urges high level players to come a take a chance.

This challenge arises from the recent murder of Mordeth, Nu'hante's mage, and the theft of Mordeth's staff. It seems that Mephisto and Mike defeated the champion of Nu'hante's maze, the Juggernaut and proceeded to pummel Mordeth. The staff is said to contain wonderous spells and powers, but should only be wielded by the sturdy of heart.

New Wizard Born Today

Gentle, a member of the Mage guild, became a wizard today. Everyone please congratulate him on his perseverance.

Rumors

The ever present rumor watchdog of Infinity has dug up some real dirt for this edition. It seems that the administration is currently working with an unknown construction company to create a new town. "Still in the works, the new town will provide new life to Infinity. We feel it's time for a change..." said Mutara, one of the Gods of this fair realm. Unfortunately, this reporter could get no information as to when the town will be completed and when the entrance will be moved there. However, the Gods request that everyone remain cool about this as the construction company is apparently on strike as we speak. More to come about this startling development.

Dateline: October 4, 1993

TELNA - "Hopelessness. Fear. The taste of death, the agony of disease, and the scream of a woman who has seen her newborn child for the first time, complete with extra limbs, and three eyes. The horror pervades even the conscience of the light-hearted, and plunges those with no hope, into a dark, desolate shell of existence.

"What was once known as the beautiful town of Telna has now undergone a strange transformation, ravaged by the cruel blows of time, evolution, and technology. Where flowers once grew, and where couples spoke of love and adoration, beggars now scour the sunbaked earth for minorly nutritious roots. Dark clouds hover overheard during the dark hours, and flashes of lightning now punctuate the moans and screams of the once-proud people of Telna.

"What is causing this radical change of environment? No one can say. The self-appointed militia patrols the streets, keeping mutated humans from entering the city, while still other seek to provide care and relief to the wounded. Rumors abound of steel-laden cyborgs, crunching and stalking their way through the surrounding countryside. No one has said much about these occurences, aside from a few hastily exchanged words in alleys; they are all far too distrustful of strangers," reports our Future-based correspondent for the Infi-News, reporting on Qualstar's newest level quest.

Word of the metamorphosis yet to come has frightened the Telna residents who live in the past timeline. Minor riots have been broken up in the streets. The smell of paranoia is in the air, and according to Infi-News polls, people believe that only a seasoned adventurer can travel into the future to halt the process before all of Telna falls to ruins. Only if this adventurer is successful, can these townspeople live their lives without the constant fear of inevitable death, pain, and despair.

So far, few have volunteered for the task, and only those at level 18 are qualified, experienced, and resilient enoguh to survive the timeshift. As Mecha, beggar of the streets said, "Those who can, will be called upon to aid us, in time. It is our only hope that they succeed."

Dateline: August 21, 1993

Changes in Infinity Over the Summer

This edition of the Infi-News is rather long, so you may wish to creep into some quiet room to read it through. We'll detail the changes in Infinity since the beginning of May, so players and wizards who are returning after a summer break can find out what's going on.

First and foremost, is a new combat system, installed by Kragen in July. With the new system, you can only attack once per round; either a spell, or an attack, but not both, and no more than one. Your strength contributes to your damage, and intoxication will now hinder your ability. We've dropped the price of coffee to aid you. Finally, we also have new attack, damage, and miss messages, to add more variety to the game.

We have two new guilds added to Infinity: Warlock's Knights of Chaos, installed in May, and Xeno's Bards, which were installed in the middle of August. Feel free to check both out, and see new powers, abilities, and camaraderie.

In the Adventurers' Guild, we now have a crystal ball, capable of spewing text on Infinity policies. We also have "last" and "new" commands for the bulletin boards, able to show you the most recent messages.

In July, Isenbold reduced the amount of spam (extraneous crap on your screen when someone buys a drink, drinks it, or sells something), in both the pub, and the shop. 300 baud modem users, rejoice. To use it, enter brief mode (with the "brief" command) any time. Typing "brief" brings you into verbose mode again.

The post office now has an alias for 'arches'. If you run into any bugs, have any ideas, or just have some extremely bad jokes to tell to the administration, you can "mail arches", and we'll get it. Mail is also "paged" now, so you can read one screenful at a time.

Quest hinting rules were revised in early June to allow players to tell locations of quests (the first room _only_), and to provide fighting aid to another player only if you've solved that quest. The full text is a available in the crystal ball in the Adventurer's Guild.

The silver disc was phased out in mid-July. All of the session code an who code is integrated with the player file. One less object to carry around.

Level 1 players can no longer shout. You must attain level 2 before being granted this ability.

Two level quests were installed; Jinian's Peter Pan quest (to get to level 14), and Xeno's Eye of Raheeb quest (to get to Level 15). Qualstar rehacked High Rock Castle to remove the Ogres, and to add....something new. :)

When you die, you no longer have to redo the level quest for that level. HOWEVER, this may change back in the future. Do not count on it as being engraved in stone.

This newspaper was first published in May. Written by Mutara, it serves as a way for the arches to tell players about new quests, guilds, and changes in Infinity. There is no publishing schedule, short of whenever something big happens.

Dateline: August 4, 1993

Ogres Quit - HRC Undergoes Rapid Change

Amid a media circus of gargantuan proportions, Oiereeogh, clan chief of the High Rock Ogres, held a press conference to announce the resignation of his Clan from the Infinity payroll.

"Oiiiiiiiiiigh cha, bagump peanut for!", he chanted. Linguistic experts have successfully translated this to:

"White man come. They pillage our land. They search our dung heaps. They kill our children. They laugh at our ugly, rather large women. They take what they want. Then they leave."
The aforementioned experts assign a 98% probablity that they interpreted the clan chief's words correctly. They claimed that they created their linguistic database from words uttered when being attacked. Unfortunately, this has biased the database, filling it with aggressive words and phrases. "Well, yes, we _could_ be wrong", says Professor Fielding, "but I'd like to point out that _I_ thought of the idea."

The Infinity College of Linguistics has another story, though. "They're looking at it too pessimistically," remarks a College employee who asked not to be named, "I think they're just going on vacation."

In either case, the Ogres have left Infinity, for at least a few weeks. Will this affect the High Rock Castle quest? Undoubtably. People have seen body parts and hunks of papier-mache flying out of Qualstar's workroom, and there is little doubt that the Totally Insane (Brain Dead) humble, lovable, shoeshine boy is up to some sinister plan. What it is, remains to be seen...

Dateline: June 27, 1993

Monastery Resident Clubbed to Death

The crime wave on Infinity seems to be reaching epidemic proportions. Late last night, a monk (probably a monk of the great god Raheeb) was attacked and murdered while he slumbered in the monastery where he studied and worshipped. This is especially alarming, as this monk represents a non-violent cult; no one has seen fit to attack this region in the history of Infinity.

An informer has reported seeing two people quietly slay the panther on patrol near the monastery, and sneak into the room where the innocent monk slept. With blades in hand, two men that fit the description of Dasein (the eternal player) and Juniper (dragon master extraordinaire) proceeded to bash, batter, fold, spindle, mutilate, puncture, maim, Adventurerify, and thump the poor brother to death.

The monk defended himself well, with blindingly fast sweeps of his katana and rolling capabilities matched only by kegs moving down an incline. With a few parries and a quick thrust, he reft Dasein of his life, and swung valiantly at Juniper's unguarded neck. The Dragon Master swept up Dasein's mortal remains, and dashed off to regroup.

On the last attack, Dasein and Juniper burst into the room from opposite sides, after dispatching a second panther guard. With twin Excalibur blades, they forced the monk to spin around, parrying killer thrusts and heavy swings. Eventually, the effort of defending took it's toll, and the monk was forced to his knees. With a flip of the wrist, Dasein disarmed the monk, and Juniper slid his sword between the ribs, and ripped the monk's heart out. Needless to say, the monk offered little resistance after that, and preferred to mind-meld with the tatami, instead.

The two murderers stalked out of the monastery, and proceeded to the pub to hoist pints and speak of other dastardly deeds. Rumor has it that these two were also the first two raid the horde of Gi'klor, after pulling a similar heart-ripping scene on Gi'klor himself. Warning: These men are armed and dangerous. Avoid them at all costs.

Dateline: June 12, 1993

Crime Wave on the Rise in Infinity

(The following article was written by our Temple and Neverneverland correspondents.)

Crime is on the rise in Infinity LPMud, according to a statement released by the Department of the Arches. A few short weeks ago, a report was received from the Temple of Raheeb, in which the legendary "Eye of Raheeb" was allegedly stolen from an idol, and spirited away. A week or two later, A man identifying himself as P. Pan reported via mail that a shadow was lost somewhere on the mud. Authorities are not sure what to make of the letter, especially since the envelope was postmarked in "Neverneverland". Xeno the Taunting Grump has assigned level 14 players to retrieve the Eye of Raheeb, and Jinian in Boots (steel-toed, mind you) has given level 13 players the duty of finding the shadow of Peter Pan, and returning it to him.

Case of Disappearing Someone Again

Several days ago, a player reported that money on Infinity had a small bug; if you examined it, it would disappear on you. The bug has since been tracked down, and you are able to pore over your cash as much as you want, or at least until the Adventurer comes to relieve you of it. Speaking of which...

Adventurers Announces Candidacy for Arch Position

"READ MY LIPS: NO MORE WIMPS" reads the shield stickers sold in many Infinity establishments. In smaller letters, the words "Adventurer in '93" adorn the bottom of the sticker. The Adventurer has formally announced that he is running for the position of ArchWizard on Infinity. When he was informed that monsters cannot be archwizards, he casually dragged Leo out of the catacombs, drew Angarak designs on the arch's cheek with an elvish sword, and said, "Any more questions?" At last report, the arches were seen discussing whether or not to allow this. If you are interested in _not_ seeing the Adventurer, feel free to make a tax-free donation to any arch you see in the town (cash only, please). 'twould be a bad thing to see the Adventurer be able to zap players...

Rumor Mill

- The level quest system is scheduled to be revamped soon, to allow more than one quest per level. You won't be required to do both, but will be assigned one when you advance in the guild.
- The silver disc will soon be phased out. Session commands won't be dependent on having a disc anymore, which should reduce the lag just a tiny widdle bit.

Dateline: May 25, 1993

Humwit Marked for Death

or, "Let's see that little *&%*& fireball me NOW!"

His days are numbered. When he re-enters Infinity, he'd best invest in the equivalent of a sword-proof vest, because someone is back. We've had reports that the Infinity graveyard has had it's gates broken open. From the inside. Further investigation led to the discovery of a shattered headstone, and a grave that had been desecrated. Curiously enough, the grave was that of the Adventurer, and the words "BURN IN HELL, HUMWIT" were scrawled on neighboring tombstones in what looked like dried blood. We're on the lookout for any strange occurences, but the Infinity rumor mill is currently churning with the different ways Humwit is expect to die...push up the daises..shuffle off this mortal coil...bite the big one... take early retirement...shake hands with the wrong end of a thunderbolt....

Royal Messenger Missing: Foul Play Suspected

The Queen of Riva recently sent an urgent message to her husband, and rumor has it that he still hasn't received the message. What happened to the messenger? The message? Find out at level 6, when you take on the newest addition to the Level Quest ranks of Infinity, the King's Scroll quest, coded by Garion le Dieu Bleu.

The following message was contributed by our South Infinity affiliate

InfiColumbia Reports Terrible Weather: Coffee Crop in Danger

BOGOTA, InfiColumbia - (Reuters) A strange storm has ravished the Colombian countryside in the southwestern area of Infinity, throwing the country, it's population, and it's crops in disarray. Scientists from the Infinity Institute of Technology, InfTech, and the Royal Infinity Observatory report that the magnitude of the storm could disrupt crop production completely. East Road analysts have predicted that the entire coffee supply for Infinity may have it's days numbered. At the very least, coffee prices are expected to shoot up, as demand overtakes the meager supply. More on this crisis in the next edition.

Dateline: May 17, 1993

Adventurer Dies a Horrible Death by Fireball

In the wee hours of the morning of Monday, May 16, 1993, one man logged on with a single goal in mind; to slay the Adventurer. "I knew he was mine, I tell you. He was destined to bleed," said Humwit the grand master sorcerer, AdventurerSlayer extraordinaire. True to his word, Humwit took 4 swords, numerous fireballs, and loads of firebreathers to battle with the Huanian Creation from Hell. After making a slight detour to Death, Humwit emerged victorious. "Yeah, I toasted him pretty bad. You could make smores over his corpse," boasted Humwit.

When asked why he stopped off in the Death sequence, Humwit muttered something obscene about thunderbolts and reporters that didn't know what to focus on. This reporter withholds comment on that.

"It was tough as hell without Tiwmid, though," complains the AdventurerSlayer. He is referring to the other half of the self-proclaimed "Duo of Death", Tiwmid the Terminator. No one is sure who changed Tiwmid's title, but you can bet that Mutara will be looking into it. "I haven't heard from him in days. Maybe he retired." That would be a sorry state of affairs indeed, said this reporter, especially if Humwit makes it a habit to get the hell beaten out of him before killing the Adventurer. "Hey, you're not going to print that last bit, are yo".....

Mutara Volunteers to Impregnate Many Infinity Women

In a manner of speaking, yes. In the second part of a three part series on the Baby Massacre of 1993, sources have told us that Mutara has finally finished the object that will allow players to get back the babies that they mysteriously lost over a week and a half ago. To get back your baby, contact an ArchWizard, or Ender; they should be able to take care of it for you.

Rumor Mill

The latest in factoids from beyond the Arch Curtain

Mmmm. Hrm. Well, nothing is happening, really. :) We'll have more next issue. *grin*

Dateline: May 10, 1993

How was the Infinity Get-Together?

or "Is your father French or German?"

Deboatable. Or is that debatable? *ducks the flying tomatoes* I cannot speak for everyone, but I (Mutara) had a damn good time. 14 Infinity Addicts met at the Disney Store in Boston, and made it to the "Fine Company", the chartered boat. Amid piles of chips, salsa, and rivers of coke, Sam Adams, and Raife's mystery brew, we sat around, discussed life, the Universe, Infinity, and whether or not our fathers were French, or German. (private joke; ask Raife, Dj, or Mutara for the full story). After three hours of being told "Hang on!" as we hit wakes full force, we pulled back up to the Constitution Marina, and ended the party (for the moment). Rumors abound that some Infinitians were found exercising their psychological abilities amid more rivers of Sam Adams...but those are only rumors. (hic)

The Great Baby Massacre of 1993

or "Honey, Mutara lost the kids"

I goofed, I admit it. :) Due to a file permissions problem, many of you lost the babies that you and your spouse had. I'm working on a way to restore your kids, and will get back to you about it ASAP. Or as someone so eloquently put it, "Mutara really likes kids. He took them all for a walk for a few days."

Duncan Corp. Merges With MUDs

or "Yes, Infinity is a Yoyo. We moved again"

We had to move from our new machine, back to our old machine. We hope this won't be a permanent change, and in fact, I'm sacrificing goats right now in an effort to appease the Northeastern God, to get us moved back to the faster machine. We'll keep you updated. In the meantime, we'll have reboots at midnight, 8am, and 4pm. Sorry for the slow speed, and the lag.

Rumor Mill

The latest in factoids from beyond the Arch Curtain

... Xeno has submitted a level quest for approval....
... The Lawful Fighter's guild has been submitted for approval...
... A monk has been seen taunting players, saying no one is strong enough to kill him.....
... The Adventurer has been slain numerous times, recently. Suspects include "Humwit", and "Tiwmid". More on that later...

Dateline: May 6, 1993

Solstice Quest Approved

We're proud to present the latest wizard quest, created by Hiero the Entity. The Solstice Quest was approved May 4, and installed the same day. As a reminder, all players must attain 1,000,000 experience points, and complete all quests that are listed by the time they type "advance level" after that. I.e., beware of new quests cropping up. :)

Knights of Chaos Installed

The newest guild is now open and ready for members! Warlock has introduced the Knights of Chaos to Infinity, and stands ready for guildmembers looking for a new experience.

Arena Change

The arena was modified May 6, 1993, to prevent players from wimpying out in the middle of the fight, and quitting in the middle of the fight. Infinity player, Franz the utter novice, had this to say: "Ja...my leefting buddy Hanz and I think that only girliemen run from the arenaa....". Franz then proceeded to contort his face in a strange manner, and flex various muscles in his back and arms. We'll have a report from later.

New Reboot Times

The reboot times have been changed, yet again. The game now reboots at midnight and noon, Eastern Daylight Time. This should cut down on the lag considerably, and yet not cause too many problems for questers.

What Happens Over the Summer?

Many of you will be leaving Infinity for the summer, and have been asking what will happen to your characters. The Infinity purge policy will let your character remain idle for one month per level of experience. A 10th level player will be able to remain idle for 10 months, before being purged. If your character is purged, you may still be able to use the same name, provided that no one has taken it in the meantime.

Rumor Mill

The latest in factoids from beyond the Arch Curtain

...Meph is in the process of having a lquest approved, based on "The Princess Bride", slotted for level 13.....
...an object will soon be available for people to send kisses to each other...
...dark shadows have been seen stalking Infinity. Be aware; they may visit you next...

Dateline: February 4, 1993

Infinity Crash II: The Wrath of M

It was a dark and stormy night. (Somewhere on Infinity, no doubt). All through the game, players were engulfed in slitting throats, running spears through the bellies of their opponents, and revelling in the rivers of blood running by their feet.

Suddenly, Verement had an urge to get some food. He'd been playing for a long time, his stomach was growling, and he couldn't possibly take on Lord Nu'hante on an empty stomach. After selling all in the shop, he said his goodbyes, once again bid a silent farewell to the now-lost Knights of Chaos, and entered the command that severs his life between Infinity and RL: "quit".

Instantly, colors exploded behind his eyes. His mind filled with a swirling vortex of light, and a cacophony of thunder rumbles and lightning strikes encompassed his very being. With a shriek of pain, he wrenched himself free of the pool of pain, and collapsed in front of his terminal.

Thinking that strange, he logs back into the game, and enters his name. Unfortunately for him, he was now in the.....

NEWPLAYER ZONE....*dee dee dee dee, dee dee dee dee....*

More screams of pain, as he appears in the Reception room, amid a slew of other newbies. All once powermongers of Infinity, they were now reduced to bare husks of themselves, straining to bend over, let alone wield a Staff of Chaos. Unfortunately, for Verement, hell was only beginning. Stay tuned for more crashes, like:

Infinity Crash III: The Search for verement.o
Infinity Crash IV: The Voyage to Gnomes
Infinity Crash V: The Final Crash
Infinity Crash VI: The Undiscovered Diskspace

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